Pursuit of God

Megs- Last night can't seemed to be summed up in any one word. God is awesome. He's constantly guiding us through this planning thing. After church we decided to head to kranichs to just check into wedding bands. But God was pathing the road for a bit more. It was the once a year huge sale day. Where the owner will tell you exactly how cheap you can get piece of jewlery for. No specific percent off or anything just straight up deals.
If you know us at all, we are dirt poor, no money, and the exhausting challenge of finding things cheaply or sacrificing and financial management is just tough. But we were able to get two perfect rings for the price of one. God you are an amazing provider. A lesson in trust.

I felt a bit unsettled after we left. But we prayed and realized its just the fear of money. God has given us what we need and the time to figure it all out. We just need to trust him.

Another awesome thing is, planning Alaska. The cheapest way possible. And last night God opened an amazing opportunity with some friends of a friend up there for lodging. Again, we just can't believe how He is taking care of us. We are discovering more and more things everyday about Him that leave us in awe.

Finally, last night ended in a way that has left us both unsure of what to think. Some quick background to this- there are about 3 homeless people in state college. And yesterday the one man came into Fletch's work and he had the opportunity to talk with him. At about 11 last night we went for walk, and saw this man. And 4 minutes into our walk we decided it would be better to get a hot meal for this man. So, back to my apartment we went heating up 2 baked potatoes and 2 BBQ pulled pork sandwiches. (which we had gotten probably 3 pounds worth from church). We added some hot tea and other munchies. Wrapping everything in foil.

We prayed and walked and prayed and walked. Unable to find this man again. We probably covered two miles and just as we were giving up hope on finding him, and ready to settle on a bench to see if he would walk by us, there he was.

A block ahead of us he was briskly walking through the small gatherings of people bar hoping in this 30 degree weather. I have to say, I was so excited and set on finding him that not until we were a few feet behind him did I realize that I was scared. ScareD?? i know.

We trailed behind him for a block or so trying to catch up and find a discrete spot to deliver the meal. We finally caught up to him and started talking to him. This man, was obviously suffering from a broken mind and after talking to him I realized that he became three different people in our conversations. I've never talked a person suffering from multiple personality disorder before.

It was time for warfare. This battle had lines that were unclear. This man seemed so confused and hurt by this world. And he knew that he was fighting spiritually as well. We didn't know where he stood, but he seemed plaqued with demons and satan's lies that confused his mind. He talked about "Ed" who I think was another personality, that was controled by evil and couldn't make decisions on his own. He couldn't take our food because we had wrapped it in foil. If you have seen Conspirousy Theory with julia Roberts and Mel Gibson, this man's theories and beliefs seemed to be that movie acted out. I felt like we were in a movie. Everyone was out to get him, the computers control State College and penn state is evil. Fletcher, my man with a heart for all men, lead the conversation and somehow reached out to this man on a small relational level. I felt defeated as our uncovered food for him sat quickly chilling on the stones and the foil he had meticulously dewrinkled and spread out on the grass next to it. The uncovered tea quickly becoming cold, and what seemed like all our efforts to keep it warm and to help him, were gone.

Lastly we had prepared cranberries and nuts in a plastic bag. Fletch extended one last hope of having him atleast take those. This man decided to feed the squirrels with them. When we left him he had less than half a bag of the gorp left, and I prayed he would eat atleast some of it. He also kept the mug of tea.

So this long story, this very confusing and defeating story has left us perplexed. We don't know what to think. God's purposes are not always clear. And our efforts seemed waisted. This man was not coherent enough to remeber what we said or who we were. His mind was packed with confusion. My heart breaks for him.

Fletch and I have battled the understanding of poverty and heartache of those in Zambia, but a man who suffers mentally is another area where God is a mystery to me.

This image by Ron Dicianni, entitled Safely Home, is awesome reminder of the exhaustion we have battling for Christ and the pure joy and reward we will have when we meet him. All our chains and shakels will be gone as we finally rest in the arms of our father. We are warriors for him. Fletch and I are learning the importance of fighting for him. Becoming aware of every battle, of every chance to stand for Christ. Even when it doesn't make sense, or we don't want to. The pursuit of God, the fight for him, makes our hearts beat faster.